I wrote the below in an email this morning and 99% percent of it is true.
“We love feedback (yes even I do now as I was once a person who dreaded it). With practice (and a little more confidence), my view of feedback is that I can receive it, apply it where it needs to be applied, chuck what I see fit to chuck, and/or store it for a time where I can process, digest, and go with it… Another aspect is I view feedback not as a threat anymore because well, the giver is fallible just like me so to each is own.”
The “We love feedback (yet even I do now” is somewhat false because I do not love feedback (that is feedback about me). I don’t even like feedback. The why? I am my own worst critic and when others confirm the thoughts already running inside my head well that means I can’t hide.
I like to view everything as a prototype in constant testing & iteration. I apply this lens to people (me included) as well. So inside my head as much as I might be observing, gauging, adjusting outwardly in my interactions, facilitation, encounters with others, I am simultaneously doing the same with me. I love that I have come to an understanding that I am a work in progress and “Yet” floats around my head often. However, with that said, the expectations for performance, ability, and production I apply to myself can be extreme & thus when I “fail” 🙂 to hit my mark, my inner feedback is intense (yet not harsh). So as I said I don’t like feedback as it can’t be helped that other’s feedback for me tends to overlap with mine and that makes me feel open & vulnerable ( a work in progress). I am though at least receiving it in a drastically new light.
I guess if you view a dragon as a scary mouth-breathing fiery dangerous beast, that’s exactly what it will be. But if you view a dragon as a kind, snuggly, giving beast, that’s exactly what it will be.